NO COLOUR

Sometimes you have to extreme feel of guilt, sometimes you do not. In these last 10 months, I have been going from one side to another. Looking for answers looking for a decision looking for science looking for signs …

The head knows

It’s been a while and I’m struggling … but I see light.

Still no colours

Nog 1 keer slapen

Niet in staat te stoppen

My journal

And still slipping

Sorry to whom loved me

Nothing

Looking outside.

In the end

I had enough

Just sitting

It end and starts with this

Can you believe the heart?

Can it wait

I’m not leaving

I want to hope

No truth

This is a feeling I can’t deal with

not knowing

It’s not about what

Most of us know this little monster

What is writing, writing to me?

Waves turn more quiet

To lay

Words without any sense

How to start writing again

a simple quote, a simple action, everyone can understand it. but me, I’m a coward. not able to change, or paralysed by fear of change. kind of funny as what i do for a living is only change. sometimes you have to look further.

Sometimes

A day

I discovered, I love

Speaking heads

I wish to write

Imagine

THE time

A collective

My job

In a moment

Just here

Today is the day

Wondering

A new day

Sometimes

For the first time

What I write

When I hear the sound

Us

We talk

Is when you write

Sliding

Colours evolve

A new day

Relief of honesty

Senses can deceived

Can people handle the truth?

In bed

Have you heard

Feeling dizzy

What I found this morning

Standing can be done

Why are you all quiet?

I believe in magic

Painful legs

Did it mean anything?

Maybe a bad idea

Contact

In Dutch

To little to late

Just, my story

And the light

House for sale

You have à heart

Away from everything

Silence has come

Schrijven is makkelijk, je start en begint te typen, niets aantrekkend van het woord juist neergepend of hetgeen dat komt.

There is no search

Rein was

The best is written

Morgen

Today is 5

ClosureBeginning

Clarity doesn’t happen overnight

Today is the day of days, the moment of truth, the shaper of the rest of my life.

so is it

You see, a lot of you reading this, could see me as a true douchebag… I fuck everything with a skirt. Really I would chase everything. And that whilst being married, being a dad (sometimes)….

a grandmothers name

In many ways today was good, it was just me my bike, the Italian roads and azzuri. All morning and lunch I was travelling in my pace my world how I wanted it. How I wish it. No use in fighting this anymore.

today is My day, probably the last of its kind. Today I have me time, I leave when I want do what I want, and I am free.

a voice

a made up name

my head is often a mess, thinking about what happened and about how I saw it happen. The difference between the two I often don’t realise as I don’t care somehow.

please no silence

i need signs

im scared

tomorrow she better cut well 🙂

A day is a day

back in hospital

A past

Storms

Have you ever?

Sunshine

Why

I had enough

Feeling

A voice

Pain is there

I don’t

Looking

One

Being blind

In so many things I do, I’m useless, in so many things I have no clue.

Bed, time and stories

I know I said

Psychiatric patient

I wonder what made me snap

Have you ever lost it

App by app

Today I discovered a side of myself that is not me. I did things I never did, I said things I never thought before. I’m crazy, as I saw things I did and did not knew.

I’m not giving up

This is my last post

In so many ways these last days have been a rollercoaster, discovering feelings, emotions, colours and moments I did not even knew, or did not remember. But what to say …

How used I am to having you in my life,

Zien en voelen wat leeft

I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

There is time

Have a cake

Life’s length or shortness

One of the most horrible tools

No books

Thinking

Knowing

Like an empty bag

All is wrong

Indifferent

A set moment

The moment is there

Liking someone

Pushkin and his beauty

I know

In a lone moment

Sitting

No answer

Fucking up

A tree

Tears

Beige,

Longing

A job

Writing

Life is turning

To control or not to control.

Talking

Everyday

The end of the beginning

I give up

Last time passed these roads

Greatness

A decision

Ending here

No sounds

Feelings don’t matter

A sentence

Few letters

Glazed look

Shades

Early

Twat

Reading

Giving June

Small and tiny

Early mornings

Another night

Another night

Water

New

Sometime

Blury eyes

Love

Reading

An unknown fact

Clear skies

All the colors

A million stories

Sitting in a crowd

Late at night

Just nuts

Alone

what is never shared